So what I’m saying is I’m done feeling guilty about not writing very often and I’m going to take a break. I haven’t been overly inspired by anything lately and am feeling a little writer’s block. I’ve decided to step back for a little while and stop trying so hard to come up with something to write about.

I will go outside and tend my flower gardens. I will take my dogs for walks to the park. I will take a road trip to visit my daughter at college. I will enjoy every minute of this wonderful weather while I can. When the temps rise and the humidity is unbearable I will return. Thank you to everyone who so faithfully reads my blather.

Have a great spring!

I have known Tyler for many years. We moved into the neighborhood when he was in sixth grade, he’s now 21. Tyler was always an energetic, fun-loving, charming, thrill-seeking, impish boy that you would want to shake sometimes yet you could not help but love this kid! You would want to yell at him and he would look at you with those sparkling eyes and crooked smile and you were done. When Tyler stepped out of the car in his fatigues and military issue boots and began the round of hugs and handshakes I got a little choked up. The young boy who I had grown to love had turned into a man – a man to be proud of.

The sparkling eyes were a little dull from the fifteen hour flight, but the crooked smile was right there. My heart expanded a little. I know those eyes saw some ugly things when he was in Kuwait that most of us don’t want to know about. I have a hard time imagining that impish boy being the mature man that he would need to be to handle such things. Yet I knew the man I saw step out of that car would surely be mature enough and strong enough to do just that.

Tyler’s girlfriend, Lin-Z, also came home with him. I believe she was a little overwhelmed with the welcoming committee, but she handled herself well. Not only did she meet Tyler’s parents for the first time when they picked them up from the airport, but then she had to meet the mob when they arrived home. She managed to keep the smile plastered where it needed to be and she remained poised during the ordeal. What I noticed was Tyler’s subtle protection of her during the whole thing. He made his way through the hugs and handshakes while still keeping an eye on the prize.

Tyler has always been a lady’s man. He captured (and broke) my own daughter’s heart when they were only twelve years old. There were a string of girls who he fell in and out of “love” with over the years. The way he looked at Lin-Z was different than anything I had witnessed before. The man is definitely in love (without the quotation marks). I am just as proud of him for that as I am that he has become a man willing and capable of defending the country I live in.

To Tyler’s parents- “You’ve done a great job raising this man. It’s okay to be proud.”

To Tyler- “I am proud of the man you have become. Thank you for all you do so that I can live freely. I’m happy that you have found Lin-Z. Good luck and God-speed in whatever the future brings”

To Lin-Z- “Hang in there.”

To all military members past and present- A heartfelt “Thank you.”

This time when I looked in the mirror I saw a pasty white, middle-aged, tired looking, over-weight woman in need of some TLC. Good thing she came to the salon today. It took me a split second before I realized (cheese and crackers!) it was ME.

You know what it’s like when you only hear a voice on the radio or over the phone then you meet that person or see their picture? Does that person ever look like what you imagined? I’ve never had the mental image and reality match on this. Well, I only look at myself in the mirror in the morning as I get ready for work. I avoid mirrors for the rest of the day. When I’m getting ready for work, I’m concentrating on one thing at a time; blow dry hair, apply face powder, apply mascara, etc. I only look at one piece of me at a time. The whole picture has gotten a little fuzzy. I have an image in my head of what I look like. Sometimes things happen, like seeing myself in the salon mirror or catching my reflection in a plate glass window, and I have a reality check.

My reality is that I don’t take care of myself. I take care of my house. I take care of my yard and gardens. I take care of my dogs. I take care of my husband. I take care of my adult children. I take care of my work at my job. I take care of my friends. I take care of my mother and brother. I take care of the laundry and cooking. I take care of my in-laws. I take care of my house plants. I take care of my car. I don’t seem to have anything left after all that to take care of me.

I see women with perfectly coiffed hair, perfectly applied make-up, perfectly manicured nails, and clothing with no wrinkles that hang on their perfect bodies perfectly. I do not wish to be one of these women. Every time I see someone like this I can only see someone who is far too self-centered to care about much but themselves. I may be wrong to generalize, but I haven’t met a woman like this yet that’s not totally obsessed with herself.

What I would like is to be thinner (healthier). I would like to look less pasty, which means I’ve been outside and more active (healthier). I would like to not have the dark circles under my eyes, which means I’m getting enough sleep (healthier). Okay, you get the idea. I would like to be healthier than I am. I don’t care that my hair has started to gray. I don’t care that my skin has started to wrinkle. I don’t care that I don’t have the body I had when I was 20. I just want to feel good. I don’t right now. I feel like that sorry looking woman I saw in the salon mirror.

So, when I finish writing this, I will begin to make my plans. I know I don’t have to stop taking care of all the things I take care of in order to take care of me. I would never want to do that. I actually love all that I care for. I do not feel like any of it is a burden. I just need to figure out how to fit some me time into all of it.

I will decide what’s important and what’s just not worth the effort. I will decide if I’m doing a particular thing because I’m concerned about what other people might think if I don’t do it or if it really is significant to living a good life. I will decide to take care of me. I feel healthier already.

Apparently, someone has not been taught this walking/bicycling path etiquette. Come to think of it, no one taught me this etiquette. I just picked it up by observing. I guess not everyone is that observant. My friend and I are both talkers. When we get to talking, not much else penetrates our bubble. We were in the middle of one of these intense conversations and suddenly, from directly behind us, we hear a man do the Road Runner cartoon “Meep, meep.” We both jumped, turned around, and then watched as the man rode his bicycle right in between the two of us!

We were both speechless for a second (okay, maybe a split second). Speechless for the two of us is pretty amazing. My friend looked at me and said, “Okay, was that rude or is it just me?” At first I thought, “Yeah, that’s rude!” which it was. However, my second thought was, “God just made a miracle happen.” Neither one of us was speaking for that very brief moment in time. Our husbands would have been agog! They would never have believed it could happen.

Either God didn’t care for what we were talking about (at this point I can’t even remember what that was) or He looked down and thought, “Wow, those women are going to pass out of they don’t stop to take a breath.” So, along He sends our rude bicycle man. I wonder if that man on the bicycle felt anything powerful as he was passing between us (aside from the flames we were shooting out of our eyes)?

So, Rude Bicycle Man, I’m giving you a pass today. Anyone willing to face the wrath of the Talkers to do God’s will is a brave man. Go in peace.

All of the snow has melted from our yard and driveway! We’re not fanatics about getting every speck of snow off our driveway like some of our neighbors. I have a neighbor who is outside for hours clearing the snow from his driveway after every snowfall. No matter if we get just a covering of snow or many inches. I would not be surprised to see him out there with a hairdryer one of these days. Why not let the sun do the hard work for you? If you’re not from the Northern Midwest you may have the idea that the sun never comes out in the winter up here. You’re wrong. It does. If you shovel enough to get most of the snow off your driveway, the sun will do the rest (or enough of the rest anyway). In my mind, life is too short to worry about every snowflake on the driveway. Judge me however you wish. Life, again, is too short for me to worry about what you might think about me based on the condition of my driveway.

Green stuff is popping up everywhere! I love the spring flowers that are brave enough to pop up when the temps still get down to the low 40s at night. The grass is beginning to slowly come alive. I raked all the leaves and dead grass in my front yard during our beautiful weather we had over the weekend. The back yard will have to be done in stages. We have 3 huge, old oak trees back there and, well, it’s a quite a job to clean it all up. We do fall clean-up, but those trees hang on to a lot of leaves all winter. We are also not fanatics about leaf clean-up. I have another neighbor who is out every single day from the time the first leaf falls into his yard. He rakes, uses his loud (and irritating) leaf blower in the vacuum mode, and picks up leaves by hand. I’m sure he curses us the whole time. All the leaves in his yard are from our oak trees. Lighten up, dude!

Things I would rather do besides shovel and rake

Read a good book
Spend time with my husband, my children, or a friend
Take my dogs for a walk
Scrub a toilet
Volunteer for a good cause
Bake cookies
Watch a chic flick
Watch paint dry
Visit a homebound senior
Make pasta, Caesar salad, and garlic bread
Curl up on the couch with a warm blanket

I just can’t bring myself to care if I have a few patches of snow on my driveway or a few (or a lot) of leaves in my yard. I really have better things to do. Like LIVING!

I could care less – Are you really trying to say you couldn’t care less? I think you are.

In’ – The language with the silent “G”
We went campin’ last weekend. In the mornin’ we went fishin’ and swimmin’. Then we went drivin’ down to Joe’s to go water skiin’ and paddle boatin’. After that we were just hangin’ around the camp fire roastin’ marshmallows and drinkin’ beer. Sleepin’ under the stars that night was sure relaxin’.

Ain’t – Ain’t a word. Spell check underlined this one too. Argue all you want. It IS NOT (or isn’t, if you prefer) a word!

The double negative- Two wrongs do make a right.
“I don’t got no” means you have some.
“I don’t want no” means you want some.
She ain’t goin’ nowhere” means she’s going somewhere (and you’ve combined a couple of wrongs).

Hunderd- As in “I bought this jacket for a hunderd dollars.” This is very Midwestern. I have not heard anyone on the east or west coast pronounce the word hundred this way. But then they have their own speaking foibles.

Buzz words and catch phrases- Although not “wrong” are irritating (okay, they are to me anyway)
“Shoot me an email.” Can I just send you one? Shooting just seems so aggressive.
“Give me a buzz.” Can I just call you? Again, seems a little too aggressive for me.
“Ballpark Figure” Meaning a close estimate. Well, if you’re talking from the pitcher’s mound to any base, that wouldn’t be too far. If you’re talking from home plate to far left field, that’s not so close. If you’re talking from third base to the upper bleachers in right field, even farther. What kind of a ballpark are we talking about that means “close estimate”?
“Stimulus and Bailout” Enough, already.
“Bottom Line” Does every point in a discussion need a bottom line? Can’t we wrap it up some other way?
“It’s a cluster.” Meaning “really messed up”. I have heard this used so frequently in business situations lately. Do these people know this is a shortened version of cluster f**k? If they do, this is really inappropriate. If they don’t, well …they’re dumb parrots and this is still really inappropriate.
“As well as” What is wrong with using the words “too” or “also”? Do you think “as well as” makes you sound smarter? No so much.

Look for a second installment of the Language Wrongs coming soon.

When I used to read these books to my children I always gave each character its own voice. I added sound effects. I sang parts that I felt needed singing. This frustrated my husband who could never “get it right” when he would read Green Eggs and Ham or Hop on Pop. The kids felt their poor Dad just didn’t know how to read. I’m sorry, honey.

Dr Seuss stories are some of the smartest I’ve read. If I were to have become the english/literature teacher I once dreamed of being, I would have had my students read Dr Seuss. What did we ever learn from Shakespeare? Really? Can anyone tell me? I can tell you what we’ve learned from Dr Seuss. The good doctor taught us to be kind, to have fun, and to believe in ourselves. I’ll take Dr Seuss over Shakespeare any day.

I’ve mentioned before what a nut I am about quotes. Some of my favorites are from Dr Seuss. They are silly, yet deeper than the most famous philosophers. Some of these quotes are directly from Dr Seuss stories. Some of these quotes are from Theodore Geisel. All are amazingly insightful.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” (Horton Hears a Who!)

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you`ll go.”

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

AND MY FAVORITE

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Happy Birthday to a great man who is no longer here to celebrate, but who is celebrated every time a book is opened and a child learns how important they are to the world and, no matter how small they may be, they can move mountains. We all need to take this into our adulthood.

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.” Theodore Seuss Geisel

I am not talking about regional dialects, under-education, learning disabilities or cultural diversions from the language. I’m talking about educated, middle to upper-class, supposedly intelligent people who simply cannot speak proper English. How can you spend your whole life reading books, attending high school (or college!), even watching television where people speak proper English and not hear the way that you speak is incorrect?

I know, I am sounding like a real snob here. I need you to know that I only attended one semester of college before dropping out, getting married, and immediately having a child. I was only 20 years old. I grew up in a poor family with a mother who did not graduate from high school and a father who just barely made it through before joining the Navy. I spent much of my youth in front of a television watching Hee Haw, Beverly Hillbillies and Dukes of Hazzard. Hardly a word of proper English spoken there! However, my parents were also avid watchers of the six-o’clock NEWS. Newscasters know how to speak! What they were saying wasn’t always pleasant, but the way they said it was music to my ears.

I knew, from the time I was old enough to understand, that I wanted to speak like the newscasters and not like Jed Clampett or Daisy Duke. The news was delivered with precise clarity, elocution, and efficiency of words. I may not have had many material possessions or extensive education, but I didn’t have to sound poor and uneducated! I paid attention. I observed. I read. I listened to my Language Arts teacher. Thank you Mr. D. for seeing something in me that made you give me just a little more attention.

There are many examples of strange ways that people speak, but here are some of the most recent oddities I’ve heard.

Anaways = Anyway
So I goes = I went
Fermiliar = Familiar
Supposably = Supposedly
Worsh = Wash
It needs worshed = It needs to be washed or It needs washing
Wher’ ya’ at? = Where are you?
Where yur at = Where you are
I don’t got no… = I don’t have any… or I have no…
Me and my friend = My friend and I
Any questions? See myself or George. = Any questions? See George or me.
I seen a rabbit = I saw a rabbit

I almost hated to write this one. I don’t want people to be afraid to talk to me for fear I will be judging how they say everything. I love talking to people. I do not judge people’s character by the way they speak. I just find it fascinating that so many people, who have spoken English their whole lives, are educated, read, and watch television can scramble the language so badly. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not so hot at math.

I did not mind taking on that responsibility. I have been rewarded with unconditional love, comfort, and a constant source of entertainment. It is sometimes hard to remember that they are animals and not human members of the family. We did our best to train them, but they are not perfectly behaved dogs. Perfection has always felt too overwhelming for me. I can’t bring myself to make them perfect dogs in the eyes of the world. They are perfect to us though.

As much as we have taught our dogs, we have learned just as much from them. Dogs live so openly and simply. They do not hide their feelings. Really pay attention and you may also learn these things from a dog:

Chase your dreams and, when you catch them, share them with the ones you love.

When you’re given freedom, RUN and PLAY with abandon.

Sometimes you’re not rewarded for following the rules, but follow the rules anyway.

Don’t bite the hand of the one that feeds you.

When you’ve really done something wrong, put your tail between your legs and apologize.

You get more positive attention when you act adorable.

It’s okay to let others know when they’ve invaded your personal space or
offended you. Just remember that you don’t need to bite when a growl will do.

Live in the moment.

If you bark at everything, people stop paying attention.

I give my dogs the same unconditional love they give me. I cannot even imagine the day when one of them is no longer with us. It will leave such a hole in our lives. When that happens we will get another dog to love. It will never replace what we have with Cocoa and Buddy. I am open to learning new things from a new dog, just not too soon I hope.

I feel like Valentine’s Day adds so much pressure, especially for a guy. If he doesn’t give just the right gift or be just the right amount of romantic then he must not really love his significant other enough, right? Some people simply aren’t that good at the creative stuff. Saying “I love you” on Valentine’s Day just becomes so stressful.

Those words “I love you”, simple yet profound. Three little words packed with meaning. Although I appreciate these words as much as the next person, they can often be empty when there is no action to back the words. Here is a list of phrases I would rather hear if you really love me.

“I did the dishes.”
“I cleaned my room.”
“I took the dogs for a walk.”
“Have you lost weight?”
“Those jeans make your butt look good.”
“Let’s go out for dinner.”
“I’ll make dinner tonight.”
“I think we should take a vacation.”
“I vacuumed and dusted.”
“Mom, all my friends think you’re awesome.”

“I love you” is great, but these phrases will bring a tear to my eye. They say “I notice you, I care about you, you have meaning to me, I know what makes you tick, you make me happy, and I want to make you happy.”

Greeting card writers pay attention. It’s not always the gushy, sweetness that’s good fodder for Valentine’s Day cards. I want a card that says, “Honey, I filled your gas tank, washed your car, changed the oil, and rotated your tires. Happy Valentine’s Day!”